told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
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Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
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There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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