I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
