my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
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Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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