Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
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