you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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