Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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