so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
