sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
