So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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