He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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