If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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