This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we're so committed to being not committed