He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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