pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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