I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
