The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
