Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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