yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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