Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
