Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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