We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
