Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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