so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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