Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
