I think im going to throw up on grandma
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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