I got chris browned last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
