So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I need to stop coming to work sober
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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