Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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