On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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