I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
