WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
