Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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