So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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