She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
