Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
