so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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