She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
