Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
