I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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