how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dignity is for republicans.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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