Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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