He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have aggressive nipples.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
