Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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