we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
