ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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