I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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