Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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