well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
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Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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