my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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