i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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