I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
