Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
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She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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