Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize