I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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