That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
