Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Life is so much better after having sex.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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