Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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