She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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