i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I believe in your delicious
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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